Tonight I had coffee with a really good friend, and although I was having a good time talking, I realized when I got home that I shrugged off the whole event like it was nothing...
"I didn't get to have him that long, so it really doesn't bother me..."
"I am sure I will be pregnant again next month."
"I knew he was sick for a really long time, so I was prepared."
yadda, yadda, yadda.
It's not like my friend was making me feel like I had to say this...its more like, I don't want to be "the sad one."
So I tried to be the easy going one.
And then I wished I actually was. It hurts more to pretend to be something you're not.
I lost my son, Gabriel, when I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. He had a rare abdominal cyst that stopped his tiny heart. I had to give birth to him on October 2, 2009. Because of him, I live my life completely different than I did before. I wanted to chronicle everything in my life...I am a writer once again...because of my sweet Gabriel.
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