Friday, April 6, 2012


Surprise!  I haven't updated my blog (sarcasm implied).

Between Lucy, work, and work associated with work, I am crazy busy,  Today Lucy is at "school,"enjoying an Easter party, and I was going to work, but Surprise!  I cannot find the motivation.  I keep coming back to my computer, knowing I should work, but mad that I have to, considering I am on Spring Break.  So, Surprise!  I have been slacking, then Surprise!...beating myself up afterwards.  I just want a normal life....being off when I am off......

Because of work, and wanting a professional change, Josh and I have made a decision to not try for another baby until 2013.  Surprise!
This is a surprise to me...considering all that we went through with Gabriel, I thought that I would want to be pregnant as many times as God blessed me. 

But we aren't in a financial position right now to do that...and although we are on our way, I need another year of stability, of making money, of applying for jobs that will be better for my reproductive future.  And the surprise of it all, is that I am okay with that.  Lucy is so exhausting.  I love her sooooo much....and I am enjoying just being with her.  I am scared to add to my family...with a job I have now.  I can't handle literally one more thing on my plate.

And Surprise! , that decision, makes me sad.