Sunday, October 10, 2010

A Walk to Remember

Yesterday was the annual Remembrance Walk in my area to honor those babies who are not with us.  On a whim, I sent in Gabriel's name and asked my sister and mom to come along and just see what the walk was about.

Although it wasn't a "walk,"  more like a very short-round the bend to get to the ceremony site- type of walk, it was still nice.  The ceremony made me cry at a couple of parts, and it caught me off guard.  It was so nice to honor Gabriel.  I do think about Gabriel every single day, but it was so nice to see his name in print in the program and just honor him.  It was also comforting to look around and see so many people who have experienced what I had experienced.  And a lot of them had new babies, so again, it gave me hope.  It was like going to the funeral that I never had for my son. 

Well, I hit 21 weeks!  I promised myself that when I hit 20 weeks successfully, I would be a better mom to this baby and record things and take belly pictures.  While surfing other blogs, Stephanie, who is Vayden's mommy, inspired me to record in a list form.  I thought what she was doing on her blog was really neat, so I thought I would emulate.  She is after all, the reason I blog.  Stephanie continues to inspire me!

How Far Along:
21 weeks :-)

Best Moment This Week:
I always have anxiety about baby movement, like I am not feeling something enough.  I talked to Josh about it a lot this week, about becoming so paranoid that something is wrong.  Well, both Saturday and this morning, alone in the quiet, baby was so active, kicking away.  I think my baby is telling me, "slow down, Mom, and you would feel me more!"

I want spaghetti all of the time.  I could eat the noodles plain, with marinara or meatballs or meatsauce or pesto..I don't care, but all I want is spaghetti.  In fact, talking about it makes me want it more.  As far as aversions go, I still am not into Mexican as much, like with Gabriel I wanted Taco Bell all of the time, and with this little one, I haven't touched the stuff.  I do enjoy a lot of chips and salsa though.

We find out Tuesday!  I have no idea!  I can't wait!

What I miss:
This is easy.  I had a stressful work week.  This week I wanted margaritas and wine like no other!  I had to settle for chocolate.

What I'm looking forward to:
This week, we find out if this baby is a Lucy or a Chet, so I am really excited to order my baby bedding, so that we can match up a paint sample and start really working on the nursery.  Has anyone used Baby SuperMall online?  I found some great deals on that web site..

I get pretty irratible still...and exhausted easily.  I feel like a failure if I can't get enough accomplished, whereas when I wasn't pregnant I just accepted the fact that I wasn't superwoman..this week I wanted to be Superwoman...

Weekly Wisdom:
I have to take care of me first.  I was working a lot of 14 hour days this week, and I was so tired and busy that I couldn't remember if I even had any water or took my folic acid.  I have to take care of me, and quit work by matter what.

Anything Else to Share:
I am currently dealing with the dreaded purple stretchmark epidemic.  I keep using lotion like crazy, but they are there...that really freaks me out, because it makes me feel yucky.  I ordered some stuff from Avon in order to help me with this problem!  :-) 

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