Tuesday, July 23, 2013

"I Snuggle My Mommy"

In about 3 weeks, I will be going back to school.  In the meantime, I am not only trying to get myself ready by planning my curriculum maps and school supply lists, but I am trying to get Lucy ready to go back to daycare on August 12th, which means, no more staying up incredibly late with her mama, mandatory rest periods instead of "play all day" periods, and no more snuggling mommy in order to get to sleep.  I am weaning her off of the paci by only allowing her to have it for car rides and sleep, and pretty soon, I will be eliminating car rides.  Potty training is still....hell.  So I am keeping her in diapers for now.

The problem is, I am trying to savor every moment too.  I know that (God willing) this will be my last summer of just Lulu and me.  I know that she is growing up fast, and she won't be in this stage forever of always wanting to be with me. 

This summer I have caught myself complaining a lot of just being tired...tired of playing shapes all day, or tired of playing cars or singing songs.  I have said numerous times that I am tired of just being the constant entertainer for 9 hours straight....I have even said that thank God I have my career, because I am not stay at home mom material. 

Then tonight, as we were forcing Lulu to go to sleep at her new mandated bed time, she kept begging to "snuggle Mommy, I please snuggle my mommy."  Although we didn't let her, I wanted to so bad that it hurt. 

And just then, I started to miss her.  I still have 3 weeks with her, just my Lulu and me, and I already am aching for our summer alone together.  Of picking out her clothes together in the morning, where she constantly grabs things that don't match and I say "Nooooooo" really loudly and she laughs and goes and grabs something else that I won't let her wear. 

I already miss her begging me to let her put on my make up.  I let her.  She tries to eat the sponges though, so I have to watch her carefully.

I already miss our walks at the park where she recalls our routine.  "I go to the park, Mommy, and I eat a sucker and I eat fruit snacks, and I play..." 

I already miss her begging me to go shopping, and when we do, I already miss her telling me that I look "beautiful" or "marvelous" when I try something on.  I miss when she wants to play toys, or to play flash cards.  "Mommy, what animal is this?"  And I always get confused because she is holding up an orange rectangle flashcard, and there is no animal in sight. 
I miss her wanting to "cheers" me all the time when we get our drinks after the park.  When I work on school stuff during the day, I miss her grabbing my books, and pretending to read them.

My little girl is pretty amazing.  I know it is normal to be tired of the same old routine, but today it hit me like a punch in the face that my normal is fleeting.  It won't be like this much longer.  She will continue to grow up, and we will expand our family, and get busier, and buy a new house, and jobs will become crazier....but until then...
So to quote (kinda) the lines I read from Little Critter almost everyday in our mundane routine...

 I am so happy to be...spending my summer, just my beautiful Lulu and me. 

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