Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Dear Gabriel,

Dear precious baby,
     When your daddy named you, I was skeptical.  We had a name picked for you as you know, and days after your body was born, I was beating myself up quite a bit about not officially giving that name to you, like I was hoarding it for some other baby.  But then your daddy told me that you were not meant to have that name, and that your name will be Gabriel, as Gabriel was an angel who stood in the presence of God. 
     Your name literally means, "God is my strength."  Gabriel the archangel was sent to announce the birth of John the Baptizer and announced to Mary that she would indeed have a son and to prepare for the birth of our lord Jesus Christ.  Gabriel then became known as the one who looked after future births, and was sent by God to do so.  After doing some research, I learned that in England, charms were sold of Gabriel to women as a comfort - that he was watching over them for fertility and safe childbirth. 
     I then fell in love with your name, as I knew you would one day, look over us.  I knew it was you calming me down after my ectopic- where I lost another.  I just remember waking up at home after surgery and just feeling peace- and I knew that was you, telling me that it would be okay, and I would soon have a precious baby here with me.  You made me feel so certain.  I knew you were directly delivering a message to me from God.
     And now I sit, almost 38 weeks pregnant, knowing that I will have your baby sister here by the end of next week.  Your daddy and I are so very excited.  In her nursery, we have our "elephant family" displayed.  Your aunt Casey got a family of ceramic elephants with all of our birthstones on them.  There is a mommy, a daddy, an October for you, and a February for Lucy.  Because of you, we were able to feel this joy we have for your sister.  I did get sad a couple of times at my shower, opening a ton of pink stuff, when I thought...last year, I should have been opening blue- but I never got that far. 
I only felt sad for a minute though, because I realize that its only because of you that I have Lucy.  Its because of you that I get to feel this great joy.  Its because of you that I already feel like a mommy, and its because of you that I feel like we are both protected.  I have an angel up there who stands in the presence of our Lord!   You know my prayers before I even get to say them, and you know my heart, since you were close to it for so long.  Someone who knows my heart is there in Heaven close to God...what a powerful feeling that is.
     I love you, sweet angel baby. 
                                  Love, Mommy


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