4 weeks ago today Gabriel was born. I really missed him today. It was hard for me at school because we were moving all sorts of desks and chairs from the old school building into the new one, and I knew that if I was pregnant I wouldn't have been doing that.
Josh found out today that one of his co-workers is having a boy. He seemed really sad about it. When Josh is sad, it makes it harder for me. He came home and rubbed my stomach and told me that he wants a baby really bad. We are going to start trying next week, and I just pray to God that it happens as quickly as the first time. I want to give him a healthy baby really bad....I want to make this hurt disappear for a little while for both of us and bring in some joy. Please God, let it be like before.
I lost my son, Gabriel, when I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. He had a rare abdominal cyst that stopped his tiny heart. I had to give birth to him on October 2, 2009. Because of him, I live my life completely different than I did before. I wanted to chronicle everything in my life...I am a writer once again...because of my sweet Gabriel.
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