Common

Last Sunday night, Lucy had a seizure.

She was fighting a temperature all day, and at one point, it was 103.6, but I wasn't worried.  She was acting the same as she always acts....she was eating a little less than normal, but I thought nothing of it.  In the evening I was getting ready to give her a bath and I took her temp, it was 102.4.  I thought, bath time, and Tylenol time after that.

I got her out of the tub, and she just wouldn't stop shivering.  Her hands and feet were an odd gray color, and soon, her lips were gray too.  Josh was out of town, and I called my mom to come to the house and give me an opinion...something wasn't right.

Next thing I knew, she got all stiff, and her eyes rolled back, and she was gone.  Passed out I guess, but in my hysteria, I thought she wasn't breathing.  I literally thought she had died for a second.

I have never had to call 911 before, and here I was, calling in hysterics. 
Please save my baby, please hurry!

Her temp was 106 by then. 

To make a long and dramatic story short, she had a febrile seizure, or seizures triggered by a fast change of temperature. She is fine, thank God.  God provided a wonderful doctor at St. V's to help Lucy. 

Now when I say febrile seizure, so many people are talking about how common it is, and how its not serious, and even my own pediatrician said "next time, don't call 911, just schedule an appointment in the morning."

That pisses me off.

Anything that makes my baby sick is a big deal to me.  Whether its the flu or a seizure, it is a big deal.  She is my world.  There is nothing more in the world that pisses me off more than people making me feel like I am overreacting to something that endangers my child.  Even if Gabriel didn't happen to me, I would feel the same way.  Something came and took my child from me, and even if it was just for a second, it was a huge deal.    And if it happens again, I will call 911 every time.  What a scary situation, for me and for her.  I love and hate the word common.  That one little word can make me feel better, like I am not alone, and yet, it makes me feel like things are insignificant, unimportant.  Like...miscarriages are common.  I hate that word when used like that.   They are not supposed to be common....just like seizures are not common in my world.

Then the word common is used positively for relationships, like, Josh and I used to be so great because we have so much in common.....

Now it seems like all we have in common is parenthood.

Leave it to me to quote a TV show, but as I was watching Days of Our Lives yesterday, a character said "Marriage can be one of the loneliest places in the world, which is weird because you are supposed to marry the person who you share so many commonalities." 

Maybe I am just going through a common phase...marriage after baby. 

I just feel....so.....common....to him.